I have often heard the term "girl", being bandied about, as though it were a term I understand. As far as I have come to gather, it is an oft used reference to people of the opposite sex. However being the generic geek that I am, I am quite unsure of what the word "sex" actually means, and always thought it was a myth or a fallacy. For instance, it has come to my attention that Bill Gates has children. How this fellow geek managed to attain such acts of reproduction is beyond my feeble biological knowledge, but i think it has something to do with recursion. So, as I sure you will understand, my knowledge of this other breed, these beings of the feminine species is rather limited.
Spending most of my time down in the Taylor Basement, where the Linux machines, I have often caught a fleeting glimpse of these rare (and often exquisite creatures). They often flee as they catch a glimpse the reflection of the computer screen on my eyes, under the ringwraith hood that I wear on occasion.
Such as it is, my interest was piqued, and I decided to my fellow engineers and scientists with them as to how to go about gathering information about them. After my conversations with my more tan peers(seeing as they actually saw this sun thing once in a while) , I gathered that getting to know women (as they were alternately called), was made up of 2 steps,
1. Watching
2. Hitting on them
Apparently, there are more steps to this process, but none had proceeded beyond phase 2. And so came time for practical aspect of this experiment.
The watching aspect of this activity is none too difficult in theory, but in practice, things can get a little hairy. Being unexperienced in this field I had never experienced the overwhelming effect on the senses that these females can have on a human body, the mind is stunned, the senses reel and you are often left speechless. When something is especially beautiful, a condition not unlike infinite recurion takes hold and you are left speechless and calling out your own name over and over again, or as it is in my case, I kept chanting "Oh my Gawd" under my breath repeatedly. If you're lucky, you may get away with a stack overflow error ;)
The second aspect of getting to know these females involves actually talking to them, an activity which requires the accelerated growth of something know as cajones, and no, people, Bawls cannot help us here. But as the master Yoda once said, Do or Do Not, there is no try. I am losing faith in him as well. I did talk some girls once, and in the typical mating syndrome of a male geek, I asked them about Star Wars. One refferred to Chewbacca as a "monkey", the second thought that the script in Star Wars Episode II was "awesome", and the last ( the worst one of all) found Jar Jar Binks...funny.
Needless to say, I have tried to avoid them since then. However, within the last couple of days it has come to my attention that other types of girls do indeed exist. In fact, one apparently posted a comment on my blog a few days back.
To quote her,
"I LOVE geeky guys, totally my type...and i do understand and am fascinated by star wars...and thats not just because I find anakin skywalker hot or R2D2 cute.
i also play a lot of computer games, (FF, CS, quake, ut to name a few) i've studied C++ for a year and i can completely relate to what you're going through. So yeah, stop generalising about girls. I may be one in a million, but hey, i DO exist."
This post did give me hope, and the sudden feeling that I could give my social security number to her. But the truth about the internet hit home, and I realised that "she" was probably a guy, and about as real as Tinkerbell. Perhaps she would only exist if I clapped my hands and prayed real hard.
Sanju
